During my 3 week social media fast, taken during January 2019, a lot of internal *stuff* happened. Have you ever had a time like that? They’re kinda crazy, aren’t they?
I released not a mountain of shame…a mountain RANGE of shame around my parenting. If this was the only things that came out of my social media fast it would have been well worth the effort. I didn’t realize my shame ran so deep but as I step back in reflect Ir Alize, oh yes that’s why I criticized EVERY time I raised my voice, every time I made a very human decision, the times I react instead of respond to my children. Oh man. The shame ran so deep it took weeks for me to see it. God has been healing and revealing this to me for sometime, subconsciously; however, there was one week where I tell you, the veil was lifted from my eyes. And even then, I knew the veil was being lifted about motherhood for me but I couldn’t identify what the veil was, just that there was one. And so I sat to journal and document all that had happened because I don’t believe in coincidences….and as I wrote the words flowed out on to the page….as they sometimes do for me…..God was revealing and ultimately healing me from my deep rooted shame of my mothering. You’re probably wondering what happened to lift such a veil….well I can tell you it has been years of seeds being planted….by His word, books, conversations, hopes, dreams, doubts. I participated in a Powersheets prep week with Cultivate What Matters and one of the fears I acknowledged was my parenting (you can see the actual fear below, I took a picture of what I wrote) and through their process I was able to make some big decisions to help create space in the hope of releasing some of these fears or confronting them or I don’t know what. But create space nonetheless. Well, the week the shame was brought to light two very specific incidents happened. God showed me in a very personal way, I’m not the only one who deals with my EXACT situations as a mom. I won’t go into more detail because