“Community: Why do I struggle inviting people into my world?
Reflect on a moment in your adolescents when you felt rejected by friends. For me, it happened at a lunchroom table in 6th grade, my only three friends told me they didn’t want me anymore. What is yours? As you remember, my hope is you begin to receive the truth of God’s healing below.
While the little girl who was rejected lives inside of you, she can be guided and shown a new path and begin to heal. There is a chance for her to stop weeping at the side of her bed wishing for acceptance. The little girl can be seen and heard today through your choices.
Sitting with our past wounds is painful and quite uncomfortable. I do not enjoy revisiting that lunchroom table, it’s a place in my past I prefer to keep right where I left it. But I’ve discovered it continues to pop up in different rooms around my life because the little girl sitting at the table, being rejected, needs me to see her. There is no daddy-hero waiting at home to remind her how she’s loved, special, and beautiful and pick her up from the heart shattering rejection most adolescents experience at some point in their life. This little girl is desperate for someone to come alongside her and say, “I know this hurts. I am so sorry this is painful. You did nothing wrong. You are loved and cared for,” and is then wrapped in a loving embrace by someone who sees her, knows her, and will continue to care for her.
Our God is the one who will sit with you in the pain and rejection. He will wrap you in His arms and tell you the truths of your character, heart, and beauty. Will you invite Him to do so? I understand it can be terrifying, let’s take the step together. When you are ready, pray to Him, invite Him to the conversation. If you don’t know what to say, I’ve provided a starting point for you. I’m praying for you as you take this step.
Please be with me during this journey as I uncover the wounds of my past and bring them to your feet. Shield me from distractions and temptations to run away from the true pain of rejection and instead, seek courage and strength in you as I long for healing and love through your love and grace. Please show me your grace and mercy in safe places, so that I may know you more and trust the truth of your promises. Thank you for the blessings of my life and the opportunity to know you more and not be chained to my past. I thank you for the promise of a new life in You. Amen.
When we have been wounded in one area of our life, it can filter into the other parts without us realizing it. When we frame our friendships as Jesus has shown us to walk them out then we can begin to heal from the rejections of the past and make room for healthy perspective and joy.
1) Do you have a healthy friendship in your life? If so, what does it look like?
2) How do you protect yourself from letting other people in?
3) When was the last time you felt hurt by a friend’s words or actions?
4) Which 3 words do you want people to think of when they hear your name?”
Above is an excerpt from my story on the effects of my biological father’s rejection. Never in a million years did I think my dad’s treatment of me would impact relationships with girlfriends. Boy was I wrong. When I realized his treatment of me, or lack there of, impacted every important connection I was able to start understanding the world around me in a new way.
If you want to hear more, hop on over here and hear the whole story.